i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
