I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
