can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
