dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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