And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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