So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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