I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
