is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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