he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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