Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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