i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
