Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
so let's talk penis.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize