yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize