your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
