Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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