walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
