I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Randomize
