so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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