I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
