Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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