Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
