Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
im on a boat
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