Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
