Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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