thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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