That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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