Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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