Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
