I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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