Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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