I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize