I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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