how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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