I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
