? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
