haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
