New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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