There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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