You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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