There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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