he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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