Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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