Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
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