She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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