If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
