Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize