I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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