My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My dad is sitting where you rode me
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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