turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
