We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
