LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
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Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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