This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.