i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Sober January is a disaster.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.