think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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