i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
