I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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