Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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