The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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