Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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