Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
All the doctor said was why
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
