Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
