I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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