Its about making memories worth repressing
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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