He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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