if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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