his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
