After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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