I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
