I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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