guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
