from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
