apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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